[personal profile] dmaze
"Good evening, ladies and gentlemen, this is your captain speaking. I'd like to welcome aboard DaveAir flight number 1700, with non-stop service from Los Angeles to San Francisco International Airport. We'll be flying at a cruising altitude of 25,000 feet, with a flight time of approximately 45 minutes.

"We would like to remind you of some...special features of our aircraft. While our flight crew is good at finding where they're going, we're necessarily not so good at getting you there. As such, there may be sudden movements in the cabin while we attempt to find our course. If needed, please make use of the bags the flight attendants are handing out to contain your vomit. Also, please feel free to use the blue button above your heads to contact the flight crew if you happen to notice that, for example, we're attempting to land without lowering our landing gear.

"The flight attendants will be through the cabin shortly to serve your choice of beverage. We recommend something that will calm your stomach. Thank you for choosing DaveAir, where we keep costs low by using amateur pilots. Sit back, relax, and enjoy your flight."
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