...though actually, as I think about it, that's as it should be, too, from my perspective. You are free to informally wish us well :). But neither of us thought there should be any formal emotional spiritual or emotional content to the "wedding" idea -- the "marriage" idea, of course, is soaked with it, but the marriage idea happens continually and was already happening; people who needed to be formally notified to recognize that...were not people who knew us very well. I found in the six months or so after the wedding that I was extremely distressed when people treated us differently on its basis, and that I found my respect for them decreased as I realized how little they understood what was important to me.
Of course, this could be because I am a big weirdo.
But, really, it means it's for your own good that you didn't get that sort of chance ;).
(And it's also what you say -- "the celebration is as much for the guests as for the celebrants" -- well heck, I'm not going to go through tremendous stress and expense to have an event that is nominally about me but actually about other people. If they feel the need for me to have a wedding, they can throw it themselves! They just shouldn't be shocked if I don't show up. ;)
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Date: 2004-10-11 11:59 am (UTC)...though actually, as I think about it, that's as it should be, too, from my perspective. You are free to informally wish us well :). But neither of us thought there should be any formal emotional spiritual or emotional content to the "wedding" idea -- the "marriage" idea, of course, is soaked with it, but the marriage idea happens continually and was already happening; people who needed to be formally notified to recognize that...were not people who knew us very well. I found in the six months or so after the wedding that I was extremely distressed when people treated us differently on its basis, and that I found my respect for them decreased as I realized how little they understood what was important to me.
Of course, this could be because I am a big weirdo.
But, really, it means it's for your own good that you didn't get that sort of chance ;).
(And it's also what you say -- "the celebration is as much for the guests as for the celebrants" -- well heck, I'm not going to go through tremendous stress and expense to have an event that is nominally about me but actually about other people. If they feel the need for me to have a wedding, they can throw it themselves! They just shouldn't be shocked if I don't show up. ;)