One great article I saw was, okay, if we're worried about liquids on airplanes, then clearly, we should have airport security checking that women have not had explosive liquids implanted in their bodies as "breast implants". Said article went on about how the author was volunteering for said position... in the interest of national security, of course.

In the paramount interest of nationa--

Patriotically selflessly volunteering in the paramount int--

Oh alright, I'll stop.